So, the other night I was watching the first 'post-Bocephus' MNF broadcast, but only because of one man.... MEGATRON.
As if that wasn't the greatest nickname in the history of all mankind( Seriously, they call the dude Megatron, Mega-fuckin'-tron people...) The dude has his own 'juice' that helps him perform.
What is this magically enhanced concoction you ask? Is it liquid Energon straight from Cybertron?
No. Calvin Johnson simply takes the label off of Pedialyte and makes it his own.
When I noticed the bad acting of John Gruden and Jaws in the booth taking swigs of 'Megatron Juice', I thought it looked vaguely familiar. When you have been around as many toddlers as I have, you tend to notice all these products. It's a gift. I suspected it was Pedialyte. Surely, it was not that simple. It can't be. ..
But, it is. Megatron Juice is nothing more than Pedialyte. Sorry if that burst any hopes you may have had about Johnson getting it delivered to him by Starscream after handing Iron Hide and Cliff Jumper their rears.
That's not to say that Johnson does not possess the All-Spark...Watch him play and you realize he is on a whole different level.
However, Megatron partakes in the regular, ordinary, anti-dehydrating concoction that is found stocked and readily available in any day care or church nursery around the country.
Which makes it cooler that he drinks that instead of Gatorade. F Gatorade he says, he's Megatron, kids, He ain't out there to rescue kittens from trees, he is out there to destroy fn' souls.
If he was out there drinking purple kool-aid, from a pitcher with Kool-Aid man's face on it, would be the only way this could get any better...
Until an opposing defense can get Unicron or Ultra Magnus under contract, Calvin Johnson's reign of destruction should hold up for some time to come...
Am I over playing his skill and ability, maybe, but hell's far the man's name is MEGATRON.
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