Wednesday, April 21, 2010

God Speed you Black Emperor There is a trailor on Wadkins now oven baked update

Knee deep in the muck that is the Fantasy Baseball season...that's where we stand, although some are sinking...
Burty Ballgame has us covered on the intricate, and at times, intimate details, facts, figures, idiosecrencies, and any other tid bit that is useless numbers unless you are a math major at MIT, or a fantasy geek. With that being said, I figured it was time to lighten the mood a little and present some whitty douche-baggery filled prose on the land of 64/60...
First order of Business... The Owner of the Year Trophy...some debate on which is more prestegious, the actual championship or the trophy awarded to best owner...No, they are not one in the same. Whatever side of the fence you are on, one thing is abundantly clear to me... The Owner of The Year needs a new name for the hardware that goes with the recipient... I am pushing for the naming of the trophy be amended to the Marge Schott Memorial Owner of the Year, nicknamed the Schottsie...I am just gonna wait for everyone to jump on board with this one..c'mon fellas, and Ladies, make it happen...
I am gonna go out on a limb here and say that me and Ironton are the only two devout followers of the MMA scene. Chris has the UFC game, but I think his interest is more in the game, and not keeping up with the scene. Which is probably the reason that I may be the only person who witnessed the Strikeforce show on CBS last weekend. Dan Henderson made his debut with the promotion on this night and King Mo went home packing some gold...Now the Henderson and Jake Shields main event was intriging, and I am amazed that Shields won so convinvingly, but the story only started with the Unanimous Decision victory by Shields...CBS has had it's share of MMA controversy. The Network was the TV home to ELite XC, which decided that it was going to barrow some things from the realm of Pro Wrestling as far as theatrics and pyro, but it was 100% legit. They are the company who banked on Kimbo Slice being a huge star without the necessary training. They were wrong, and some unsavory business practices led to the demise of the group... But Bill Goldberg was a broadcaster for the promotion, so I was a fan... Back to the present, it seems as if Strikeforce is going in the same direction of barrowing the showmen-ship of their pro wrestling cousin, which it could be said that they are actually promoting pro wrestling the way pro wrestling promoters should. Kind of sad really that an MMA group does pro wrestling better than pro wrestling does, well, pro wrestling. If you thought Brock Lesnar's 'heel' promo after he beat Frank Mir was ripped from the booking sheets of the WWE, King Mo basically told the crowd that he was a 'heel', telling the crowd to keep booing, keep hating, they didn't matter to him, he would keep winning...Basically, in the immortal words of Everett Lemaster, he told the Nashville crowd to, 'Don't hate it, Date it."
Now, straight out of pro wrestling came another little device... the tear-apart, security trying to keep em' seperated brawl during the in Ring(cage, octagon, geo-metric shape, whatever you want to call it) post match interview with Jake Shields, who just defended the SF Middle-weight Title. Now, Shields has 3 little cronies in his corner, Gilbert Melendez, and the Diaz Brothers, Nick and Nate, who both of which I despise. Now those 3 are like three little dirty mexican versions of Tully Blanchard, pesky little sneak attack bastards...Jason 'Mayhem' Miller, one of the most charasmatic and odd fighters in the world of MMA, came to the ring and interupted the post match interview by popping up on camera behind Shields, getting his attention, and asking shields, and being light-hearted in his seriousness mind you, about his 'title shot'. Enter the Spanish Horsemen... Melendez shoved Miller and the Diaz boys then blindsided and attacked Miller... All 3 were getting in their cheap shots as Miller was on the ground being held down by various ring crew and security... Miller however got back up and got some of his own shots in...Miller actually would have got at least a split-decision draw in a 1 on 48 brawl... Shields looked as if he wanted to join the the shack- buddies in the malay, but was ushered out of the ring/cage. The Diaz boys and Melendez are hood... CBS broadcaster Gus Johnson, who I absolutely love on the mic during a NCAA game, serves as lead broadcaster, and he was going nuts...saying how this was disgraceful, ther is no room for this garbage and that this didn't belong on live television...For a moment I thought he was Tony Schivonie...He had a broadcast partner of Frank Shamrock of the Douche-Rock Den...Now, we get to anticipate Shields stepping int he ring with Miller, and to see Miller get his revenge for the attack with nobody able to get in the cage. Hmmm...kind of reminds me of things I used to watch called the NWA and WCW... Whatever the case may be, I am sold on Strikeforce. Maybe they can call Shields and MIller's headlining card The Great American Bash...or Starrcade...
Speaking of combat sports, from the predetermined persuassion this time around, I was absolutely shocked when I find out that the fore-mentioned Tully Blanchard's ex wife is married to the man who he spent all of 1986 trying to cripple over the United States title.. Yup, Magnum TA is now married to Tully's ex...and no, it's not Baby Doll... Tully, now running a prison ministry and the former head booker of a failed NWA brand revival in Charlotte, did not succeed in his quest to cripple Magnum...A telephone pole and a porsche at high speed did that... Another twist of Irony.. Magnum TA, Terry Allen, runs a cell-phone tower service...apparently he is doin his part in ridding the world of telephone poles...
By looking at all the transactions and activity in the 64/60, The LeMaestro's may be too active for there own good. Other's, looking at their records, may not be active enough. Then you have teams like mine, The FP, Tube Suckers, and Colonels all creating a log jam in the land known as a middle of the pack...After a few more weeks, we should see some signs who the contenders are and who are going to become spoilers for playoff seeds.
There is no Arguement here... The 9 Irons are the best in the league.. barring some bad luck with the DL monster or horrid offensive slumping, and the outside chance that domestic trouble arrises at home which leads to binge drinking, heroin adiction and ill-advised trades as a result of said mad-cap behavior, I would assume right now, that they are going to be week in and week out the best in 64/60. Rich has a good head on his shoulders, none of the latter should be an issue here...
What would be a posting by me be without the obligatory shaking of the blue and white pom poms???Incomplete that is what.. Cal has manged to pull in yet another GREAT recruiting class. There are some that believe all of this will not matter as all the wins will be null and void within 3-4 years anyhow... I could not disagree more. Cal knows he is under a microscope everyday, it was like that before he came to Kentucky... And, there is no bigger target than Lexington.. HE knows that and so does President Todd and AD Barnhardt, I am not saying everything is on the up and up, no program , NO PROGRAM, can lay claim to being completely clean, but I am saying that Cal has plenty of protection...There is a Big Blue smokescreen up...Besides that, He knows if he gets us in trouble, Bad things will happen to the people he cares about the most....or so I would assume...We protected Pitino, we will protect Cal...Besides, The NCAA is the real villian in 87% of all these situations...
NFL Draft is Thursday, or at least it the mind numbing marathon of Mel Kyper douche-ness starts thursday. I don't really care about the NFL. I like it more than the NBA and genital worts, but I usually don't watch anything other than the Bengals, and The Bengal-less Super Bowl.
The Blue-White scrimage is also slated for Thursday... Kentucky has put enough cup cakes on the schedule towards where if they can make enough noise in the middle of the SEC East pack, they should go Bowling once again...And, i can't wait to see Reggie Cobb assert himself as the premier player in the SEC this season.. it's gonna happen...
If the BIG TEN gets ahold of the Big East schools they want, that will kill the Big East...Now as an SEC supporter, we would have to do something to counteract the growth of the numerically challenged conference...I am tore between two scenarios...Either take on Louisville, WVU and Cincy to the SEC, or go after Texas and Texas A&M...Jesus could you imagine the SEC with Texas, FLorida, Bama, and insert any given SEC rotating power???
I see that my requests for a Corn Hole Caucuss has fell on deaf ears... I scream yet only whispers are heard...sigh....

What do gay bears and the world series have in common????? no cubs.....

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Though black tar heroin sounds very appealing after each and every Cub game this season i will continue to try to stay focused and manage the 9irons to victory.

Rich

Anonymous said...

Did anyone catch Charlie Hustle at the Reds game last night?At one point with the camera on him one of 2 things happened a.the guy sitting behind him poured a Huedy down his shirt or b.Selig has talked him into some sort of twisted shock therapy as a tool to help with reinstatement.

Rich

jesseward said...

Idge,

I would say that I keep up with MMA but hardly a devout follower. Regardless, I liked the metaphor to pro wrestling.

Jess