Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Stay away from the mail box Sean Sutton, it's a government sting Tuesday update

Week One...We have heard how it is of no sigificance. All the aplicables cliches are, well, applied.."It's early", "Don't Count you chickens..." etc. The best I seen? "It's still early penis poachers." made by the nefarious Everett Lemaster, the current Director of Baseball operations for the LeMeastro 41129ers. That organization is currently occupying the cold, damp floor of the cellar after an abysmal opening week. Word coming out of Skyline is that the organization may be due some restructuring. After all the pomp and circumstance of Opening Day, parades at riverfront, Saint Bernards and Elephants shitting on some astro turf, get that out of the way. The Season is now in full swing. I believe it was Bob Ueker's charecter in Major League that said, "You can tell how the season will go by the first lead-off man of the year"...or something like that...And anything that Ueker says, in charecter for a movie or on Mr. Belveder, should be noted, dually, and wrapped in gold leaf paper...the man knows what he speaks of...after all, he is a WWE hall of famer...and while we are at it, so is Pete Rose...Just sayin'.
The Exodus to the land of Sodom and No Defense, the NBA, is making it's flight from bondage in the NCAA. Now, apparently Kentucky is going to lose their whole team sans Jon Hood, Bill Keightley and Cawood Ledford...two of which are dead. Black Kool AId and his mom were in a fit with the University after they had announced that Patterson was declaring for the NBA with Wall, Boogie, Bledsoe, Orton, He and mom disputed that and said he was 50/50. Let's face it, I think it is a safe bet he is going...I can't wait to see him smack OJ Mayo in the mouth in the League. Syracuse is losing Johnson. Williams is leaving Memphis, which by the way, Kentucky and Cal can't be blamed for that one, Ebanks is leaving Huggy and WVU, Lance Stephenson is packing his bags in Cincinnati, and the only reason other than Drive By Shootings and Hibachis to go to Huntington, Hassan Whiteside has decided to give up his porjected #1 draft pick status for 2011 and make peace with being around number 12 or 15 in 2010.Mcamey is leaving Illinois and Hobson is saying his goodbyes in New Mexico. Can't blame any of them. I mean, have you seen the price of a box of lucky charms these days???Outrage will lead to revolution Wal-Mart...
Yup, you can find me on the Jason Heyward bandwagon too, although, I am not sure it would be considered bandwagon for me. I have been a Braves fan since about 1986...
The College Coaching carosuel is spinning post the Madness almost as fast as the Exodus wheel. Marshall lost Donnie Jones as coach, as he heads back to Florida to head up UCF. Then they lose WHiteside. So basically, Marshall died that night right??? Well, not entirely, they are still on the vent. Marshall hired Tom Herrion, a West By Gawd native and former head coach at UC in Charleston, and most recently an assistant at Pitt. He was also the assistant coach that ever-vescent and classy citizens of Morgantown, which means transplanted from New jersey, pelted under the eye with a quarter this last season. Should make for an interesting sub plot at the 2010-2011 edition of the Herd-Mountianqueer Capitol City CLassic.
Speaking of New Jersey, Lil Blue Jesus or Boogie is what it comes down to, to see who will be bigger than Bon Jovi in the wasteland that is the Garden State. I think Jay and Silent Bob have been doing the John Wall outside the Mini-Mart...Or tripping balls...whose to say???
Since Wrestlemania was brought up again by Bopp, here is the breakdown... Shawn Michaels will be back on TV wrestling before years end, Wrestlers dont retire...ever...
With their 'Street Fight" at 'Mania, Bret Hart, post stroke, and Vince Mcmahon officially closed the chapter on the Attitude era and the 1990s. Unfortunately, closure is not so final...TNA seems to be intent on rehashing the 90's every week. Last time I checked it out, they had the NWO, HOgan, Sting, FLair, Mick Foley, and for a while the Nasty Boys and Val Venis... Ironically enough, they have LazerTron there too...He may be the spanish broadcaster...but in 2010, LazerTron still has a job in the business...And Tony Schivone doesn't????Injustice...
Another wrestling related note, Jim Ross apparently may branch out into MMA Broadcasting... Hmmmm...UFC seems like it is getting awfully close to being a wrestling show...There is absolutely no difference in Monday Night Raw and The Ultimate Fighter no matter how much Dana WHite tries to deny it...
Enes Kanter is bad...
Wednesday is signing day, you can catch all of it on ESPN U at 4:00...Brandon Knight becomes a Cat that day...
Big Ben manages to keep his record clean...his weiner???not so much.
Want to impress a doctor in a casual geo-political conversation??? Use the term Eurasian Mid-Drift...gangbusters....
That will just about do it on the lazy tuesday... I go back to the Island tonight, so...I will be enamored with electro-magnetic activity until at least wednesday noon time...
And for FUCK'S SAKE can we please get a little CornHole action up in this bitch???

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