Tonight is ESPN's 'Super Bowl'. It's Duke-Carolina. Dick Vitale and company will be wearing their pants a size bigger tonight, as the 'Worldwide Leader' takes the precautions necessary to accommodate the bulges that will find their way into those pants when the powder blue and over-privileged blue take the court.
Yeah, ESPN is going to be throbbing tonight.
Carolina doesn't bother me. I actually respect the Heels. Heck, they hate Duke probably more than any other contingency in America. That gets them high marks with me.
The only knock to the Tar Heels currently, is Roy Williams and his douche-ness. However, with his antics of douche-tivity, it's like he isn't even trying to hide how big of one he is, which makes him slightly more enduring than Count Krzyzewski.
But, everybody without a trust fund or a tall white kid with that looks a little dyke-ish, hates DUKE.
Austin Rivers, in all his over-exaggerated glory, knows somebody who doesn't share his desire to beat up on Carolina: His sister.
Yup, in what could be the most awesome twist to this ESPN reach-around, Callie Rivers is dating one of her brother's rivals. Callie, who played volleyball at Florida, is dating the Tar Heels' injured guard Dexter Strickland.
We have seen this before. Brady Quinn's sister dating AJ Hawk, wearing a split ND/OSU jersey during the Fiesta Bowl, which saw her boyfriend beat up on her brother, and making the Notre Dame QB eat the playing field on more than one occasion. It was very reminiscent of 'Hey, take it easy on Mitch Kramer..."
In any event, tonight, Austin Rivers is going to probably try to do too much against UNC, because one of them de-flowers his sister on a routine basis. He will probably do what Duke players do, and and at some point cry. His tears won't lessen at the final horn, either. UNC will blow them Dookies out.(Which is totally different from the 'blowing' Duke will get from ESPN)
The saddest part, is that Duke will probably remain in the Top 10 by whatever miraculous reason that has kept them there this season, even with a loss tonight. Folks, this is not a very 'Duke' , Duke, and by no means are they one of the nation's ten best. Even more absurd is that some folks actually think they could still deserve a #1 seed in March.
Yeah, ESPN is going to be throbbing tonight.
 |
| Damn, Doc. |
The only knock to the Tar Heels currently, is Roy Williams and his douche-ness. However, with his antics of douche-tivity, it's like he isn't even trying to hide how big of one he is, which makes him slightly more enduring than Count Krzyzewski.
But, everybody without a trust fund or a tall white kid with that looks a little dyke-ish, hates DUKE.
Austin Rivers, in all his over-exaggerated glory, knows somebody who doesn't share his desire to beat up on Carolina: His sister.
Yup, in what could be the most awesome twist to this ESPN reach-around, Callie Rivers is dating one of her brother's rivals. Callie, who played volleyball at Florida, is dating the Tar Heels' injured guard Dexter Strickland.
 |
| "Oh, AJ, always making a Quinn eat some turf!" |
 |
| "There was just a little bit of bullshit in all of that, right?" |
In any event, tonight, Austin Rivers is going to probably try to do too much against UNC, because one of them de-flowers his sister on a routine basis. He will probably do what Duke players do, and and at some point cry. His tears won't lessen at the final horn, either. UNC will blow them Dookies out.(Which is totally different from the 'blowing' Duke will get from ESPN)
The saddest part, is that Duke will probably remain in the Top 10 by whatever miraculous reason that has kept them there this season, even with a loss tonight. Folks, this is not a very 'Duke' , Duke, and by no means are they one of the nation's ten best. Even more absurd is that some folks actually think they could still deserve a #1 seed in March.
1 comment:
Austin Rivers called the Headquarters(He's got Sprint), and let us know he ain't gonna' be smellin' no fingers, but we can suck on 'DEEEEZ...nuts'. Touche.
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