Now, it is very doubtful that this little write-up will replace the Play-Doh people Christmas movies in any one's hearts. How can you compete with Nestor, the long eared Christmas donkey? You can't. And we are not going to try.
Now, it's very disturbing that we celebrate a day when a fat man in a red suit, breaks and enters the homes of millions and leaves presents from his sack. And those gifts are made by slave labor, in Arctic conditions, by a minority who is oppressed. So, that is what we replaced the Christ Child with? A Big Red Pedophile Slave Trader. Congratulations.
Now, something has to be said for the day it's self. We took pagan rituals of bloodletting and sacrifice and threw in the savior of man, and bada boom, we got the biggest greed fest ever since Gordon Gecko ran wild on Wall Street. Jesus wasn't even born on Christmas, and his name is not even Jesus. That's a translation of his actual name into Latin. Yup, whitey got a hold of that a long time ago. But, that's enough of the history lesson on Christmas' true beginning....
When I was a child, To me it was having to go to church to see the cantata, where a lady with an opera-quality voice would absolutely scare the shit out of me with her vocals. It was knowing that Christmas morning I was going to get a shit ton of wrestling figures and 2 or 3 new sweat suits, Yup it was the 1980's and that is all I wore. RUN DMC. In 1987, I got the huge Ultra-Magnus Transformer, which I transformed one time from space station to huge robot, and then took it apart again.... It never was transformed back into the robot form. That was way too much fuckin' work. So, as the years were filled with Transformers, Thundercats, LJN WWF wrestlers, Remco AWA Figures, Air Riffles, Basketballs, a Chicago Bears replica helmet, and various other necessities of the 1980's, my Christmas' were always good. In 1989 I got Tecmo Bowl for the NES from my brother and his first wife(who is now institutionalized), and it seriously changed my life. Watching the play-doh movies and Mickey Mouse as Bob Cratchet was the icing on the cake.
The NBA on Christmas is something that I never really cared about. TBS burnt me out on Ralphie a long time ago, and I would rather watch Star Wars on Spike. The Louisville/Kentucky Game usually happens around this time of year, so I was always looking forward to that, and we always played football for our annual 'bowl' game...We didn't puss out and play on Thanksgiving, we waited till it was cold and nasty to play. Nothing comes easy in the Burg.
And Starrcade was that weekend from 1988 on so that was a bonus. I remember one evening when I was about 8, getting pissed because My mom had us out looking at the Christmas lights in Central Park and knowing that a Clash of Champions was just minutes away from bell-time. Fuck these lights, I want to see some carnage! I think the Fantastics were fighting the Midnight Express at Season's Beatings...
Anyhow, College Bowl Games, Good Movies, this time of year has it all. You even get shit under a tree being disguised as celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. What more could you ask for?
One last memory than I am going to stop. 2nd grade, Christmas Play. Cooper Elementary, I had a huge speaking role in Mrs. Stewart's production. "I is for the Ice-sickles that dangle from the trees." Oscar worthy line right there. It carried the show. Fuck the 6th graders.
2 comments:
Gilbert, I would have to disagree about my failures against the numbers. It's actually been a good year for the Factory posting a 51-44 mark on the year. I won't rule out the possibility of dipping into the piggy bank before the years over but right now I'm making it rain.
Burt, your season pay-outs to this point, after you cover your loses,would not be enough to by a candy bar at Omer's.
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